We decided to take down our tree today — and two minutes later were all feeling a little blue.

We look forward all year to a room lit only by Christmas lights. Owen especially took it hard. He loves having a tree in our house. I think he would keep it up all year if we agreed.

And so we decided that today was a day to bring a little green into the house in another way. We needed a plant.

The problem is that we are not houseplant people. Our garden thrives each year and provides us with food. Our outdoor flowers bloom. But give me a daisy in a cup and it is dead in 3 minutes.

Still, we had a boy today who needed something to nurture, and I had read recently  in our naturopath’s office about how houseplants are a great healthy investment — they literally fill your home with fresh oxygen, and all you have to do is water them and keep the cats from eating them.

So we decided we really must grow something, and we chose an avocado plant. Because it is free.

My husband had remarked today upon my return from shopping, “so what else did you get today at the avocado store?” I tend to buy a lot of avocados because they are nutritious and happen to be one of my very favorite foods, but I didn’t realize that until 10 years ago, so I am forever playing catch-up.

Also, for the sake of this post, just ignore the fact that it is winter, that we live in the Midwest, and that it will take probably 15 years before we see any actual avocados.

Growing an avocado plant sounds deceptively easy:

1. You take the pit of an avocado, and carefully remove the brown skin.
2. You then determine which end is up (the pointy end), and find the middle range of the pit. You insert three toothpicks around the middle of the pit and set it atop an old jar (recycling!), so that the flat end of the avocado hangs in the jar.
3. Then you fill the jar with water up to the half-way point of the pit and you wait.

Eventually (I hear, I have never actually gotten this far) a little root will pop out of the bottom and then a sprout will pop out of the top. Then you can transfer your plant to a pot with dirt.

Then you wait again. Roughly 3 to 4 years. It helps if you have more than one avocado plant so they can cross-pollinate.

So will this work for us? I’m not sure. I will need to grow a green thumb in the next few weeks.

But even if it doesn’t, we still fulfilled our need for a little green today. A boat of guacamole fixes so many things …

When it comes to organization, I am a total hypocrite. I have no natural gift for organization and can almost never find my keys, but put me in a hotel room with a messy person and I start straightening everything I have into little piles.

It makes no sense. But it proves that somewhere deep inside me is a person capable of organization. Perhaps I need to take in a boarder.

I think many of us make the effort to get organized this time of year. I usually ask for a calendar as a holiday gift and spend an afternoon before January 1st transferring birthdays, anniversaries and other important information onto the new calendar and a new planner.

The planner usually makes it until Jan 7 or 8th, my favorite uncle’s birthday, before I realize I didn’t send him a birthday card and I don’t actually like not being able to see everything all the time, and take to writing everything down on the kitchen wall calendar. Earlier this year, I spent three hours thinking my husband had a head injury and memory loss because I didn’t write down on that very calendar that he just had to work late.

Although it is nice to get ideas from others, I think most of us need our own system. It is hard to try to borrow an exact system from someone else, because each person is different. I have one friend who swears by her iTouch. Another uses a small day planner that can always be found in the same purse pocket. Several I know use home management binders.

My grandfather carried around a pad of paper in his back pocket for 75 years and called it his brain.

None of those systems seem to work for me. Although the brain idea is appealing because at least then when I inevitably washed the pants I could just explain to people, “we are 45 minutes late because I laundered my brain.”

I eventually tried Google Calendar a few months ago — I had heard wonderful things. But it always felt so far away. I couldn’t function without connecting to the Internet, which makes me sound about 150 years old, I know, and also like I am incapable of abstract thought. 

I will say that organization was less an issue before I had children. I used to have a mental Rolodex. I could recall important phone numbers after only dialing them one or two times, a skill that came in handy for a reporter on deadline.

It is like a foreign language though – I stopped using it and now it is gone, replace by the Dirty Dozen list and the words to Elizabeth Mitchell songs.

So what’s a mama to do?

I was thrilled earlier this year to put many much loved recipes into three binders. It took hours. I had to make the tough choices — two vegetarian bolognese recipes … which one is better? Do they both have enough merits to stay? It was heart-wrenching.

I do my meal planning like this: take a piece of paper, write the meals I need to plan for on the back, make a grocery list that includes ingredients for meals on the other side. All is well as long as I don’t lose the list or forget one thing that I need to make a recipe work, like arborio rice for risotto. Then I spend 45 minutes searching for the take-out menu to the Thai place.

It occurs to me that this is not an inspiring post. But it is an honest post. And it covers something I want to focus on in the year ahead.

In the meantime, maybe you can help. We all have a few days until the new year … I’d love to hear some details about something in your life that is organized … something that works.

• Do you keep a home management binder?
• Do you use your phone to keep you going?
• Do you have a plan, or a system?

Talk about it in the comments below. I’ll be grateful all year …

Looking through our Christmas pictures, I noticed in many of them our yoga mats propped up against the windowsill.

In the past year, yoga has become so much a part of our lives. It used to be something important to me — something I tried to make time for. But now, I have two kids who are hooked on downward-facing dogs and deep breathing.

It keeps me going, seeing how much yoga is benefiting them — us — and how much is brings our family together.

I wanted to share some new resources we have discovered lately, and are excited about pursuing in the New Year.

A few months back I wrote about “Turning the Day Around with Yoga” — you can find that post here.

• My absolute favorite new yoga book is The Woman’s Book of Yoga and Health
• Yoga Journal is starting a 21-day challenge on Jan. 10 designed for those looking to begin a home practice
• I am continually inspired by the Enlightened Motherhood Blog  at Yoga Journal
• I am still loving the free weekly class at Yoga Today
• These free activities for kids at Angel Bear Yoga
• Eye pillows, which I will be talking about more soon!

Are you yoga-ing too? Share something about your practice in the comments below!

I had a good idea (that I totally stole from my sister) for our family get-together yesterday …  A HOT COCOA BAR!

Sounds super fun, right? Lots of types of cocoa, marshmallows, whipped cream, crushed peppermint candies and even sprinkles.

But somehow I suspect it is the one thing that pushed us all over the edge. After three straight days of Christmasing, something about those crinkly packets of powder and sprinkles sent us all into a family tailspin, just as the house cleared out of relatives from near and far.

Our family was crabby, out of sorts, alternatively wound up and dragged down, and feeling like we’d eaten cacti.

But we have a family prescription for the days following a busy and hectic time, and we plan to start it today. We will:

•  Drink lots of water. Lots. Flush the system!
• Focus on fruits and vegetables.
• Eat soothing, warming foods, but nothing heavy or rich. (Brown rice and steamed vegetables, soups, lots of great ideas here.)
• Turn off the phone, the TV and everything electronic but the Christmas lights.
• Leave the heavy lifting for another day, but do enough laundry to ensure no one goes naked and clean enough dishes to ensure we can eat well.
• Throw the cookies, the toffee and the candy canes in the freezer for a while.
• Rest. Breathe. Get some fresh air.

In time, we will tackle the mound of generous gifts we received. We will resume more activities, and maybe in a month or two, even try a repeat of that hot cocoa bar (which I still argue was an awesome, if mistimed, idea).

Although maybe next time we’ll use more natural products. It’s always interesting to try to find that balance between anything-goes fun and here is your almond milk with one tan sprinkle in it.

Come to think of it, that is a metaphor for our holidays here, I think. It’s a never-ending search for balance. A balance I hope we start to get back today.

How do you reset as a family after the busy holidays?

There was a time, not so very long ago, when each week followed a rhythm and Sundays were a day of rest.

In our family, we are trying to recapture that feeling of having a day of peace, togetherness and reflection.

This isn’t always the easiest thing. Dishes need to be done, groceries bought, clutter … uncluttered.

But our family has recently made a commitment to try to slow down and simplify, and focusing on Sundays seems like a good place to start.

Will you join us for A Simple Sunday?

 Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent.
~ Victor Hugo

Our tree this year is far from perfect. It does not begin to compete with the toilet paper tree of my teen-age years.

It was a thing of wonder — all matching gold and cream-colored balls and tulle and ribbons flowing down from the top …

My uncle had gotten married in my mother’s house at Christmastime one year and had hired a florist (and a bagpiper and a monk, but those are details for another time) to come out and deck my mother’s halls. 

My mother, being practical and having the eye of a budget-minded Martha Stewart kept the professional decorations that had trimmed her tree that year and put them up for several years to come until her oldest daughter made the mistake of referring to it as “the toilet paper tree” after the rolls of ribbon that draped from the tree topper, that I might have mention looked like an adult diaper.

It was a tough time for all of us, what, with the still recent divorce of my parents and my mom’s repeated attempts at Christmas morning egg casserole. 

After that, the toilet paper tree was retired, and my mom pulled out the old decorations for a few years. She even gave a few to her ungrateful daughter (and my sister too.)

So I am the first to say that our tree does not compare to the splendor of a giant toilet brush, but our tree does tell a story. It tells the story of two people meeting, falling in love, making a home, building a family.

It shows children growing and changing every year, and then right next to it memories from the past — a reminder of something my Grandma always said, or of those first Christmas mornings at the breakfast bar in my mom’s old house, and the way she tried so hard to make it special.

Our tree is everything important, hanging from metal hangers and bits of yarn. It is our life, and I am so grateful for all of it, especially the memories  — old ones and all those that are still to come.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas, and all good things …

I was reminded recently of a story my college newspaper adviser sent out a few years ago.

Maybe you’ve read it? It ran into the Washington post, and its called Pearls Before Breakfast.

I try to read it every once in a while when I need a reminder to live right now. When I need to tell myself that life is happening, so pay attention.

This week as I am surrounded by friends and family, the thing I want to remember most is the joy my children carry around with them this time of the year.

They love the presents, yes, and the cookies. They love the snow, no matter how hard it falls.

They always stop to listen to the music. I would do well to be more like them this time of year. Every time of year.

Pearls Before Breakfast

In the busyness that is boxes arriving every day, our book basket is bringing us a bit of peace each afternoon.

When the sun dips down, we light the tree lights and curl up to read some old favorites and some new discoveries. Not all are Solstice or Christmas related, but some are. There is a not-suprisinging amount of snow featured. There are trolls everywhere.

It is the break we all need each afternoon.

Some favorites:

Night Tree

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

The Tomten

Winter World

In the Snow: Whose Been Here?

A Christmas Memory

Little House Christmas Treasury

Jan Brett’s Christmas Treasury

Owl Moon

Whose Been Here: A Tale in Tracks

Antler, Bear, Canoe: A Northwoods Alphabet Year

Gathering: A Northwoods Counting Book

Silent Night: A Christmas Carol Sampler by Belinda Downes

The Winter Solstice

Magic Treehouse: A Ghost Tale for Christmas Time

Merry Christmas, Curious George

The Winter Book

Is it bad to say that as much as I love Christmas, I am already looking forward to days of calm and quiet filled with cocoa, popcorn and a few new books read together on the couch?

What is in your book basket these days?

Uh-oh. Today is the day. It has finally hit me. Later this year than in years past — I think I am growing. But I still have it — the little lump in my gut — the little twinge between my shoulder blades. It’s the worry about the stuff.

Maybe some of you have this worry too. It comes with having children, and having people in your life who love your children and want them to scream their heads off when they open a wrapped mystery box.

A few years back I wrote about this topic, trying to be careful, trying not to offend the grandparents in our lives, and I’m not sure how it went. I just know that every year I continue to get a paycheck from that article because people continue to read it, so I must not be the only one out there experiencing the symptoms of a heart attack in the weeks leading up to Christmas.

I wrote that article a long time ago, so I’m not sure if I still feel exactly the way I did then. It has been a few years. I have tried to force myself to mellow a bit. I no longer return anything the day after Christmas in a fit that includes me screaming, “I have got to get that thing out of my house!!”

I consider that progress. I have come to realize in these past 6 years of motherhood that we are very blessed to have many people in our lives who love our children, and love seeing them happy. And that what this gift-giving tension comes down to is why.

We have these rules, and they seem so arbitrary. I can hear that in the conversations we try to have. Why no video games? Everyone has video games. Why no Pillow Pets? Every child wants one. Why, why, why?

And the truth is, there are a lot of reasons. I spend my days with my children, and I spend my nights after they are in bed with my head in a book and so I have the reasons.

I don’t think anyone would say that raising children is simple, and so the reasons aren’t simple.

I could say, “because we are the parents, ” which is true, but I don’t often use that line with my own kids, and so I try not to use it with anyone who saw my husband or me take a Mr. Bubble bath with a sibling.

And as a family we may seem to have more rules than other families. But I think each family has to make choices based on who they are and what they value. And that is never going to be the same for everyone. 

Among my friends, who are pretty like-minded, we’ve had discussions about gifts we would prefer people not give to our children. But just as one has a more lenient gun-play policy than another, some like Barbie and some hate her, some embrace toys based on TV or movies and some don’t watch TV or movies at all, the rules are anything but arbitrary. They are exact, for that exact family at that exact time.

But what is Christmas (or any other major gift giving holiday including birthdays) about if it is not about getting something plastic, beepy, large, loud?

And why would any parent want to keep their child from getting the hot new toy? And why is our generation punishing grandparents who just want to be generous and blow their grandchildrens’ minds?!

It took me several years, and several holidays spent with a polite-yet-strained smile on my face to understand that us, the parents, at times probably seem like lunatic nutjobs who at best are controlling and unappreciative and at worst are undermining the role of grandparents and killing Christmas for everyone.

Bah humbug.

So two years ago we tried writing that letter. You’ve heard of the letter. It was a combo of the advice from Mothering Magazine (help them build a kite!) and from the New American Dream Web site,with some news reports about lead paint and an explanation of endocrine disruption thrown into just to balance everything out.

You can imagine how it went over.

Day 1: Complete Radio Silence

Day 2: The Questions

Day 3: The Confrontation

Day 4: Either tears, yelling, or a promise that my kids were going to get the loudest plastic junk anyone had ever seen or heard of.

Day 4 (Later): The Giving-In.
(That was us. The parents. Giving in.) Apologizing for causing everyone grief and strife. “That will be fine,” we said a half-dozen times. “We have a very large trunk and a Goodwill 3 minutes away,” we muttered to ourselves.

Because the truth is, whatever our reasons are for not wanting our children to have something, trying to explain those reasons to someone who 1) has already made up their mind and 2) remembers the time when your head exploded over a Teddy Ruxpin is sort of wasted energy.

Because the parents still win. That’s how it is. That’s how it is structured. I mean if they want to enough. If they think it is important enough, they will deal with the aftermath of an inappropriate toy in a way that works for their family, without compromising their values.

I’m realizing now that a lot of this is about continued open communication with extended family, but also about communicating with your kids (when they get old enough). It is about establishing a family culture, and family values within your unit, and everybody else can either climb on board or not, but your train is leaving the station, so to speak. 

This holiday gift-giving business basically comes down to people who all love a child, and all want to do what they think is best for that child (but as the parent, you know your child best, so it’s true that someone else may get it wrong).

But trying to see it that way — trying to understand the intentions of the giver helps me be a little more understanding and patient, I hope.

It is true, that in my memory banks, my very first Christmases smelled like plastic-babydoll-head. And I did not die.

It is true that I got a Barbie Dream House once, and it did not make me develop an eating disorder or get addicted to plastic surgery.

But is is also true that it is not 1980, I no longer wear Wonderwoman Underoos around the house, and my body has birthed and nourished two entire people.

Things have changed. That is my point there. Things are different. The biggest difference I can think of is that I am a mother now, not a little girl, and I am busting my non-Underoo wearing butt every day to try to do what I hope is best for my kids.

For the people in our life, they can love that or hate that, but if they truly care about our kids at all, they need to try to respect it.

Stomach lump better. Twinge gone.

We started a tradition here around the time our first child was born. Christmas had become so busy. So bustling. So much a marathon that didn’t feel like us.

That’s when we began embracing the Solstice. For our little family it is a chance to be together and reflect before the flurry of travel, visits, visiting.

The Solstice also means embracing warmth — food, drink and gifts — even music. Remembering that soon it will be bright and warm again, but in the meantime, it is up to us to keep those feelings alive in our home.

One year it was comfy pajama pants; last year it was handmade blankets. This year, my family will receive hand-knitted hats. Next year my goal is wool socks, so I plan to start those on Wednesday.

Gifts of warmth don’t have to be tangible, of course. But I love planning something special for my family each year.

And this year especially, the Solstice feels even more like something to celebrate!

I hope you too will have the chance to take a deep breath before or during the busyness of Christmas in whatever way fits for your family.

Happy Holidays to you and yours!